5 Signs you are Carrying Unprocessed Trauma and how to Heal

Unresolved trauma can influence many areas of life in ways we may not immediately notice. In my practice, I work with people who have experienced interpersonal trauma, which often leads to coping patterns that affect relationships, social interactions, and overall well-being.

Here are five signs that trauma may be affecting your life:

1. Maladaptive Relationship Patterns
You may struggle to maintain emotionally fulfilling connections and find yourself relying on surface level interactions rather than genuine emotional bonds.

2. Dissociation in Social Situations
Feeling disconnected or numb during conversations or social events can lead to social anxiety and difficulty understanding others’ emotions.

3. Relying on Substances to Connect
Using alcohol or recreational drugs to feel included or bond with others can create the illusion of closeness without true emotional connection.

4. Shallow or Hedonistic Connections
Engaging in relationships or activities primarily for temporary pleasure or distraction rather than shared values and mutual support can indicate unresolved trauma.

5. Difficulty Building Deep Empathic Bonds
Struggling to access the emotional resonance that allows true connection can make it harder to feel another person’s emotions and create lasting intimacy.

How to Begin Healing and Build True Connection

Healing trauma involves reclaiming presence, building safety in relationships, and reconnecting with your body and emotions. Here are some steps to start:

• Practice Somatic Awareness
  Pay attention to bodily sensations and emotional cues to process trauma that may be stored physically.

• Engage in Mindful Social Connections
  Focus on relationships built on shared values and emotional safety rather than pleasure or distraction.

• Try Structured, Meaningful Interactions
  Meeting someone for a walk in nature and discussing deeper topics once a month can help explore intellectual and emotional compatibility.

• Work With a Therapist
  Therapy can support trauma recovery through somatic therapy, emotional regulation, and relational skills.

By recognizing these patterns and prioritizing mindful, authentic connection, you can move beyond coping mechanisms that no longer serve you and create relationships that are resilient and fulfilling.